Initial impressions of Bangkok

So, on landing, and finally shaking the funny Japanese guy who was in the seat next to me (more on him below), I walked out into the bewilderment that is Don Muang International Airport.

(Kazu, the guy next to me on the plane, quickly figured out that I’m American, and delighted in trying out his English on me. He wanted to know everything. He was particularly interested in American table manners, such as how to act if he should be entertaining potential American business clients. He specifically wanted to know about the “put down the knife and transfer the fork to the other hand after cutting your meat” nonsense we do. And whether anyone would be offended if he didn’t do this. I told him it was unlikely anyone would notice, and that Europeans and younger Americans didn’t bother with this, and just ate two handed. He was perplexed by the phrase “not uncommon”, which as I was explaining it, I realized that it didn’t make much sense. It kind of means ‘common’, but kind of not. Kind of a way of equivocating, and saying both and neither. “I’ve heard rumors this happens, and I may or may not have seen it, but don’t quote me on this.” Anyway, he was vary eager to continue the conversation, and gave me his phone number. I may or may not take him up on his offer to show us around.)

So, on getting out of the terminal, you can go in either of two ways, and there are no directions either way, suggesting a direction, which makes it hard to meet someone later, as I had to do – I had to run back and forth between possible meeting points until I found Ev. Either way you go, you face a gauntlet of people wanting you to take their taxi. Lonely Planet (hereinafter LP) warns you that these guys charge 600 – 700 baht for a ride into town. Whereas if you walk another 50 meters, you can get a metered taxi into town for about 200b. LP suggest this, but goes on to suggest taking a bus for less than 100b, if you really want to experience the local flavor. Then they tell you if you really, really want the experience, you’ll cross the street to the train, which costs 10b. Guess which one I decided to try!

This is the train that ordinary people take in Thailand. Stepping on, the stairs smelled strongly of piss. Hmm, I thought, maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. (Turns out the stairs are right next to the bathroom.) After walking up and down a few cars, I find a seat, and the train leaves. The train is really basic – the windows are open, and there are bench seats everywhere. Looks like it’s been around a while. At this point, I realize that Kazu took all of my prep time (well, the time that wasn’t spent watching “Lucky Number Slevin”, which I recommend if you like a thriller with a twist – great movie), and I didn’t have a really strong idea what to do from here. I pulled out the map, the guidebook, my printed instructions with the address. The detailed map that Barnes & Noble had sold me wasn’t that detailed, actually (it turns out our guest house is just outside the downtown area that is really detailed on one side.) I did have instructions that if I was coming by train to get off at a certain station, so I start searching for that on the map. I finally find it, and then I realize that my command of the Thai alphabet is still pretty tenuous, especially at train speed, looking for landmarks. I start wondering if I’ll be able to pick out “Sansem” in the Thai for “we are now arriving at Sansem station”. Finally, I do figure out a few landmarks we’re passing, and relate them to the map. Okay, I do manage to get off at the correct station. And the train leaves, and things look pretty bleak. I appear to be in the middle of nowhere. There’s not another tourist in sight, let alone a sign in English. Time to try out my phat thai skills. (Yes, I’ve been saving that one for awhile.And my Phad Thai skills are indeed excellent) I find a group of cab drivers, and try out the address. Blank stares. Shit. Um, I hand them the address, they put on reading glasses, and all stare at it. Finally one of them hands it back, and mutters something, and looks away. I stand there awhile, not sure what just happened. Finally, after a few minutes of nobody talking to me, I figure I’ve been dismissed. Why didn’t I just take a cab? I wonder. I find a group of tuk-tuk drivers and try again. A tuk-tuk is a step below a taxi – it’s a three wheeled motorcycle with a bench seat in the back. I figure I’ll try this in steps. People don’t recognize the address, so I ask to be taken to the area (this is bullshit, I just say the name of the area – those are my skills so far). And they guy says, let’s go! So, I go on a fabulously harrowing ride through rush hour traffic in a tuk-tuk (they are named for the noise them make – I guess this is Thai for ‘putt-putt’). I get delivered to the main shopping district for the area, pay the driver way too much (100b for a ride that probably could have been negotiated for 40), and consult my map. Still can’t figure it out, so I find another group of tuk-tuks, and say the address. This time something clicks, and they start bidding for my services. 45! several say. One guy says 40, and the rest all look at me, and nod their heads, and point to him. He finally delivers me.

So, my moment of panic dying down, I check in, take a shower, have some dinner in the guest house restaurant, do some writing (finally giving up on waiting to upload photos, and just publishing all the Taipei backlog), and get some advice on getting around from the front desk. Going to get Ev at the airport at 2100 and getting back is a lot easier, except the finding her part.

So, Bangkok:

Bangkok smells. Bangkok is 33 degrees centigrade, and while the sewers are technically closed, they run pretty close to the surface, and when you step over a storm sewer grate, it’s attention-getting. And the smog is also impressive. All those scooters in Taipei got nothing on tuk-tuks. Ev doesn’t like the smell, and she’s not talking about the exhaust or the sewage. There’s some other smell she’s able to detect, but I can’t smell it, so I’m not sure what it is.

Bangkok is crowded. There are a lot of people here, and they tend not to live in the 10 story apartment buildings that the Taiwanese live in. Makes for a different feel for the city.

Bangkok is the center of the entire world’s sex industry. This makes you a little suspicious of any middle-aged white person you see in town. Most likely, they’re here for business, but you never know. Every block, there’s a massage parlor. After an epic journey today, we found the vegetarian restaurant we were looking for – an entire menu of veggie dishes. The proprietress just assumed we were there for the massage parlor she also runs upstairs. There is such a thing as an innocent thai massage, it’s actually a traditional Thai medicine, I think. There are official schools that teach it and everything. Seriously, though, every third business, whatever they do, also offers massage. Foot, head, or body, it how it’s typically advertised.

Bangkok has enough tourists (sex tourists and normal tourists), that there’s a real tourist industry here, with all the attendant problems. Taipei was certainly friendly to tourists, but apart from a few taxi or bus company shills, had no population of people preying on tourists. Not so here. You can’t walk down a street without taxis and tuktuks honking and pulling over to try to give you a ride. The taxis all want to avoid pulling down the meter, and just quote you a price that’s so far been about twice the correct price. People see you looking at a map, and try very hard to suggest a place to go. We don’t doubt that some are simply friendly, but many are trying to steer you to something.

More later. We need to do some research on where to go next, and get the front desk and LP to give us some advice on how to accomplish this. The guest house has an impressive collection of guide books that people have left behind - the owner claims there are 200 of them, including ones in Norwegian and Russian. His policy is that if it doesn’t mention his establishment, it’s crap, and you’re free to take it with you.